My child has autism… and I have a carrousel of emotions
spinning in my head on a daily basis: feelings of embarrassment, frustration,
aggravation, but also feelings of compassion, admiration, and love.
After our last few days of social interactions, I have had
ample time to reflect on my thoughts on having a child with autism:
1. My child has
autism… she has no filter and YES I do notice.
I do not
ignore her sometimes (most often times) inappropriate outbursts or over
fixations out of being a bad parent. I do it out of her not always being able
to control herself or change these fixations. Yes I do see you staring at me, probably wondering what sort of things we subject her to at home, but lets face
it, the world is a lot more desensitized than it was when we were even kids. YES we have had conversations with her
about what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior in social situations, but
these new habits will not happen overnight. We do however try to provide
appropriate social situations at home. YES
she is 9 and has seen the puberty video at school and YESSS this has become a new area of fixation for her
(unfortunately). But at least she is educated and YES we have and will continue to have conversations with her about
how that is a topic only to be discussed with family or a trusted adult at
school, so here is my public apology for anyone she offended tonight or any other moment when speaking out about puberty and I quote, "the bloody part."
2. My child has
autism… she does not have complete social awareness.
Oh were you
having an adult conversation with just adults? Well sorry about that but my
child is going to interrupt the heck out of that conversation with about 36
questions/opinions of her own. Were you trying to eat something? Oh sorry about
that too because my child is now going to talk about how corn syrup gives her
runny poops. You live in a dwelling that does not contain children and expect
everything to stay in its perfectly placed spot when we come to visit? Well I
apologize for that too because it is just not going to happen when you have an
extremely curious child seeking out tons of new knowledge as she gets older and
more aware of her surroundings. YES
again I notice these things and wish there was more I could do to help these
situations be easier and more convenient for you, but these are my everyday
situations at home and we do what we can to adapt and provide positive learning
opportunities for when we venture out into the world but that is not always
going to be enough. This is where my frustration and aggravation comes into
play because again I can feel the searing gaze of your eyes looking at me as if
I have the magic button to turn off the autism and make her act like a typical
child her age. Trust me, if I had that button I would need about 50 replacement
batteries by now, but the truth is there is not such a device and aside from
restraining her there is no immediate solution to your inconvenience, so suck
it up buttercup… you see her for a couple hours? I get this 24/7. It will take
time and practice (lots of it) to see these changes, and that is just the way
it is.
3. My child has
autism… what would you like to know about?
One of the
most wonderful things I see everyday is the breadth of knowledge this girl has.
She can recall some of the most amazing facts that may have otherwise gone
unnoticed by us “normal” folks. She also takes an interest in things that her
peers may otherwise find boring. Lately this 9 year old wants to know
everything and anything about history. Civil War, California Gold Rush, you
name it. We recently had a conversation in the car that completely took me by
surprise the other day wherein she asked if we could go to church because she
wants to learn things she cannot learn in school. Her appetite for learning
just astounds me and I really hope this is a trait she will hang onto for quite
some time to come.
4. My child has
autism… do I wish she did not have autism? NO!
Lets start with this, would I
wish this disability on anyone including her, no I wouldn’t, but would I wish
it to go away so she could suddenly be “normal”? Absolutely not. This is her
normal, this is our normal, it is what makes her the person she is, and in my
opinion (which may contain a little bias) she is one fabulous kiddo! Yes, we
have our rough moments, and YES I
know everyone is watching to see what our next move as parents is going to be
when these rough moments arise, but quite frankly I don’t give a squat what
anyone may be thinking as they witness our worst moments, because unless they
are also there to witness the wonderful moments we have with her, they are not
getting the complete picture. We will continue on with what has been working
and try new strategies for things which are not working in terms of helping her
grow into a more well rounded being so we can prepare her for a future filled
with endless possibilities. And when it gets down to it, I suppose this is what
any parent wants for their child.
Mrs. Imparato
