Hard Truths... About Me

Today I write about some hard truths about myself. I am forcing myself to write this, so I may be able to take a good look and change the things about myself that are bothering me. These views are strictly from me about me, I do not project them on to anyone else.

I have always been super hard and judgmental when it comes to... me. This is one of my biggest faults in life. I am super horrible to myself, not in any sort of physical way, but emotionally and verbally. I am super critical of my (wait for it...) appearance. Embarrassingly enough I fall into the category of one of those people who spend their whole lives looking in a mirror and hating the way they look. "I'm so fat," "I look hideous," and "blec!" are all repeat phrases in my self-description arsenal. I can't say who or what is to blame for this kind of thinking that has consumed my brain for my young adult life, all I know is it has to stop.

The one thing that bothers me more than this thinking itself is the fact that I can say all of these things about myself, yet I do absolutely nothing about it. Diet?... No. Exercise?... No. Whatever I can try to fix how I feel about myself I do not try. I sit here and try to blame everyone else for it, when the problem seriously is with myself. I blame my husband for not making me go on walks with him or not exercising at all with me. I blame him for giving into my googly eyes when I want to buy some sweet treat at the store or go out for some sort of dessert. I think he is the absolute worst because he will not do it for me, but in all reality he is the smart one here and I need to start listening to him.

Sure, he doesn't do these things for me and he doesn't always try and motivate me, because the only one who can motivate me to change my ways is... well, me. I need to learn how to say no to the extra cookie and yes to a cup of water instead. I need to learn to say no to sleeping in or the extra nap and yes to the mile walk around the block. If I really have a problem with myself, I need to make the change on my own. The only results that will be worth it are the results of my own hard work and dedication.

Once I get the ball rolling on how to change these bad habits I've picked up, then I can work on my self confidence. I need to get these negative thoughts out of my head and replace them with positive ones. If I go through life always criticizing myself, I am just giving others permission to do so too. If I only see myself in this poisonous light, that is how I will come across to others and I will not be very successful in life. If instead I look at myself in a positive manner, others will see me that way. My attitude will rub off on others and I will appear more confident and successful.

All of this thinking has been manifesting itself over my 23 years of existence, but the thing I am able to realize... I can do something about it. All I need to do is get in the right mindset and get going. Nothing great was accomplished from not starting somewhere.

Mrs. Imparato

Even looking back on old pictures, I can tell I have already come a long way.

From the top picture to this one I have lost 43 pounds.