Being Honest with Myself in 2019

I’m pretty sure I have made this post before with this same subject matter. Weight loss. A heavily over-talked subject for this time of year. Yes, I know everyone’s resolutions are flowing in and yes, I realize I am one of them too. I will not deny that January 1st each new year is a new opportunity to take control. A new opportunity to say, “hey, it will be different.” Yes, I am not stranger to the routine.

A friend of mine recently said that it starts with honesty. Being honest with yourself. So here goes...

Dear Self,

As you and I both know, being of one body, 2018 sucked. How, you ask? Well look back to your blog post precisely one year ago. Remember... the one with the food baby bump? Yeah, the one that you totally made a first class dipwad out of yourself. Okay we are being honest... not brutal. You had every good intention, yes. But what you did not have was focus, determination, and the will to make a change for the better. You looked at it as a “Oh yeah, I’ve been there and done that. It is totally within my grasp.” You saw it as an easy way out to say you were going to make the change but you never really got the stamina to really make the change. You kept finding those little excuses that you needed to make the choices you were making. You kept buying terrible food and saying, “Well this is going to be my last bad meal so why not make it something worth having?” I can’t even count on both hands how many of those “last meals” you had in 2018.

Now sure, a lot of those things in 2018 were so worth it, such as dining with your husband at Disney World’s Food and Wine Festival, and partaking in different festivities closer to home. You did have a good time, but those good times are not because of the food you ate. It was due to the experiences you had with those around you. Self, if there is one piece of wisdom I impart on you for 2019 it is this... food is not the cause of great experiences. Great experiences come from those you experience life with. Yes, food will always be there, but it will not define how good of a time you have in life.

Let’s talk about the bad times, because there were some of those too in 2018. You will NOT blame your grandpa’s death as the reason you are now at your all time highest weight of your life. That is not fair to him or you, and you know that is not the reason. The reason is you have made food a comfort. I’m here to tell you, food is not a long term comfort. Food will comfort you for the first few bites, but as you continue to stuff your mouth, you will question if it is right you should be eating those things. Next you will question why you did that to yourself as you are writhing with the stomach pain of over-stuffing. Then to sum up 2018 you will stand on the scale in your bathroom looking at numbers you have never seen before and trying to make jokes about being so big that you are wearing certain clothes because none of your other “go-to’s” fit right. You will then start feeling sorry for yourself and wander down a path that is not good for anyone to walk down.

Self, I am not saying any of this to you for pity. I am saying this because I have come to realize that we need a change in attitude about a lot of things. Do we need to lose weight? Sure. But more importantly we need to get back to a healthy attitude about ourself. (Yes world I know that is not a word... just go with it!)

So... now that I have been honest with myself there is just one thing left to do. Get back on track to a healthier lifestyle whatever that may entail. I will not be posting “before” pictures just yet, even though I have definitely taken them. I want those to stay a motivation just for me as I begin my journey again. I will also not set hard limits for myself in front of everyone as that is a hard goal to achieve. I would like to walk my own walk before I talk the talk so to speak. So to everyone with their own goals for 2019, I wish you the best of luck in achieving your dreams.

Mrs. Imparato